Curiosity and judging others, though poles apart, are innate qualities of human mind. As a child, we all have pestered our elders with piercing questions, about life, about nature, about adulthood, to which they sometimes had answers and sometimes not. All our childhood experiences, our upbringing, our schooling, has contributed to being the person we are today. And on our way to adulthood, we all learnt to form something that we were most likely better off without – judgments.
It starts innocuously, possibly at the onset of teenage, when we learn to form opinions about things around us. I don’t know about you, but me, I was very very vocal about my thoughts since my childhood. I had a very clear sense of what was right and what was wrong, and I spent a lot of my childhood picking fights with those who didn’t agree. It was not good, and I remember long lectures by my parents about how there was no need to fight with all and sundry, simply because “I could”.
Throughout school and for sometime in college, I continued to air my opinions and pick fights. It would also disturb me, since a fight is almost always extremely emotionally draining, and standing on the other side of the crowd, alone, was very trying.
Things improved with time, I met some genuinely nice people in college, whom I am still firm friends with. I grew a little more tolerant, but it was my experience at my Masters in Manipal, that really changed my outlook to different people and their opinions. Manipal is a student town, and if you ever have been there, you will find all kinds of kids doing all sorts of things under the sun. Initially it was awkward, watching girls smoke openly, or boys hanging out with girls in public, and yet seeing same people literally rubbing their noses in their textbooks at the library, but I learnt to not judge people on their looks. I learnt to just let them be.
After 2.5 years as a a working professional, I have learnt that people are not always what they seem. And hence, therefore, it is just wrong to judge someone just like that. I am learning to let my judgmental behavior give way to a genuine curiosity, to understand why someone is the way they are. Of course, that might not justify their actions, but still, it is a better outlet for all the unnecessary negativity.
It is not like I am surrounded by perfect people. Even if I am not judgmental, sometimes I still have fights or confrontations with people who just won’t let me be. Sigh, if only people understood what we learnt by rote in Science in school, that “Energy is constant”. If we let out negative energy to the universe, it will come back to us in some form, and always negative. It is so much better to release positive energy in the Universe, and wait for it to come back to us, as an unexpected bonus.
While it may be fun airing your opinions all the time about someone’s job, their lifestyle, their love life, their spending capacity, it is often a good idea to just SHUT UP and observe. Be curious, try to learn more. But never ever be mean enough to judge someone on the basis of their looks or the money they make or anything else equally superficial. Don’t feel offended if they don’t think the way you do, just let them be. There will be so much more peace around if we don’t try to control everything.
What do you think about this Friday Gyaan? Have you judged someone, only to realize you were way off the mark? Has anyone judged you unfairly? Share in the comments below! 🙂
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